1 Corinthians 14:3535If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.
She was testing me my after my first sermon in a new church. Her next question was. "What if my husband is stupid?" I laughed and said then she could ask me or others for input and have a good talk about whatever the question was. What else was I going to say? "You still must abide by the wrong and stupid answer your husband gives you"? (Some Pastors I know would). She smiled and said, "I like you Mr. Diehl"
Another was the woman who told me her husband had announced that he was the King of the Home and she was NOTHING! The NT and WCG gave men and husbands all the backing they needed to make such brash statements. It gave those men already so inclined more reason to be "in charge" than they needed to fuel their ego and often to heap abuse on wives and children. I asked what her response was? She said she told him, "Then you're the King of NOTHING!" Nice shot I told her.
Occasional a deeply thinking younger person would ask some pretty deeply reasoned out questions.
One teen approached me asking if Mary was married when she had Jesus and to whom? I said , I can see this coming and best I could come up with was "she wasn't". "Right!" he said. Then came, "Who was Jesus Father?" I smiled and said, "Evidently in the story, God". "Right!" he said. Then, "So didn't God commit fornication impregnating Jesus in the single young girl Mary?" I said, "What do you think?" He felt, minus all the apologetics, it would seem so. I said, "yes, it would seem so by definition of the concept and that Jesus birth stories and subsequent theological concepts of his being God's literal son born of a virgin etc does raise many questions theologically. Nice question and there are answers that are more satisfying than others. Keep thinking."
And then there was , for me, a perspective changer for which I have no good answer but "Seems so". This experience in theology came long after I was no longer a pastor and from a therapeutic massage client who knew my background. (I realize I have told this several times along the way, but I'd like to focus on it in this posting for the perspective of others here with WCG/COG backgrounds.)
Within a minute of starting the session she started to sob and while I have learned not to just jump in with "What's wrong?" and just letting the moment pass quietly until I could ask, "Are you OK?" I have given up being a fixer. She said she wasn't and I still just listened until she said, "Can I talk to you?" Well of course she could and I asked what was going on?
She went on to tell me that her only teen daughter had committed suicide and knowing my background was telling me how her church was of no help. I asked if they made sincere efforts to encourage her with "God won't give you more than you can bare"? She said yes and I asked if it helped? "NO, it did not" I asked if others said that she's in a better place now etc and she said yes. I asked if helped? "NO, it did not!" Other standard efforts to comfort followed such as seeing her again and as her only child, no one said anything about at least she had other children etc. She didn't. (The story of Job losing his ten children in a storm and then getting ten brand new replacement ones later comes to mind as this kind of total lack of understanding how family really works but I spare us)
Then the fatal question. "And was your pastor helpful?" She physically contracted and almost exploded with "NO!", I asked what he said and in a moment, I knew he was in deep theological trouble with a very poor analogy.
"He told me, ' Well God lost his only child too'" Uh oh...and I asked what she said to him. She said that "in that story" Jesus knew he was going to died but in just three days come back better than ever! In that story, God knew he wasn't dead and gone. My daughter is DEAD! If I knew she was coming back in three days I'd be getting the welcome home party ready. SHE IS DEAD! Shouldn't a sacrifice stay DEAD! As far as I'm concerned , that story was merely a weekend inconvenience..."
All I could say, as she was right and in her grief went deep into what she had been told all her life that no longer seemed meaningful seeing it through the eyes of the suicide of her teen child and her pastors good faith effort I would assume to encourage her.
I asked what did her pastor say after her answer to "God lost his only child too"? She said he apologized for a bad analogy. (I'm not sure I ever heard one of my pastoral colleagues or church administers apologize for anything so at least there was that. I am sure he got a theological jolt as well.
Now I see the concept has gone mainstream. My experience with her was at least 15 years ago. So help me with this. Why does this "Theological Zinger" give such pause for thought?
