Churches of God have got a whopper of a problem, now that Burger King has unleashed it's "Unhappy Meals". Especially because of some of the names of its meals.
Two of Burger King's newly named meals are bound to cause their angst to become flame-broiled - especially the "Pissed Meal" and the "DGAF" meal.
You can almost hear the dress shoes clacking their way to a McDonalds' now, can't you?
"I can't have the word 'Pissed' on that cardboard box in my house", one was rumored to have thought.
"Do you know what the 'F' in DQAF means? It's just GHASTLY!" Another was rumored to have said.
"It's sowing division, frankly", a prominent COG Pastor didn't say. "It's unacceptable. This could definitely keep you out of the Kingdom if you buy these boxes", he didn't conclude.
When it was pointed out that they simply could tape off the offending verbiage, the prominent COG Pastor was rumored to become even more rageful.
"That's defacing and vandalizing property! You can't do that" He allegedly yelled.
"You own it now, it's private property, you can do whatever you want!", This journalist was rumored to have said.
"I'd never buy something with those words on it!" He allegedly shouted with zeal.
The prominent COG Pastor then allegedly wrote a sermon for the next Sabbath:
"How The Persecution of the Church by a Restaurant Foretells Bible Prophecy".
Apparently something about the love of many going cold, or the reference to flame-broiled meaning Gehenna Fire, or something....
(relax people, it is only satire, though Bob will take it personally)