Will the COG True Two Witnesses Be Able To Do this?

Ron Weinland believes and teaches that he and his dingy wife Laura are and will be the two witnesses of Revelation.

Can you imagine these two morons doing this:

Ron claims he and his wife are the TWs (Two Witnesses) of Rev 11.
1) They breath fire
2) They kill their enemies
3) They turn rivers to blood
4) They shut the heavens
5) They can cast plagues at their discretion, as often as they want.

Not only do they believe this, but Weinland is now starting to teach that there will be a second set of two witless witnesses.

Let me guess, Jeremy and Audra.  Oh wait, Bob Theil and James Malm! Now there's a pair...

From: False Prophet Ron Weinland