My girlhood was filled with sermon upon sermon admonishing women to submit to their husbands in all things. A wife’s sexual submission to her husband was particularly important. There were sermons about how long after giving birth a wife could reasonably deny her husband sexual pleasure. I heard about which sex acts between husbands and wives were allowable and which were immoral. I learned from the pulpit that a wife could save herself from cystitis by wiping front to back.
I heard sermons from ministers angrily admonishing women in the congregation for the length of their skirts and the way they crossed their legs. Even ministers could not control their sexual thoughts with these kinds of distractions. And how dare women behave this way as God’s Ministers were in the act of preaching The Word of God.
The way women and girls dressed, whether they wore make-up or not, was constantly policed. Make-up was forbidden. Then it was allowed. Then it was forbidden again before it was finally allowed. Ministers called women vain; they called them harlots and whores. Pants were forbidden. Then pants were allowed. Skirts were measured. Jewelry was questioned. Hairstyles were critiqued. If women appeared out of line or “had a bad attitude,” ministers would approach their husbands and tell them to “correct their wives.”
The message was that ministers, husbands, and fathers owned rightful claim over my female body and that any deviation from their wishes, any autonomous expression of my gender, any unsanctioned sexual activity would bring punishment.
