In the Name of the Father, the Son and in the Hole You Go...
Tell ya what I'm gonna do. This weekend and this weekend only , if you act , I'm gonna give you my gen-u-ine Herbert W Armstrong signed and David L. Antion bone-e-fied Ordination Certificate. My name can be cut out and you can paste in your own name in the font of your choice. I know it can be done sweet and easy and no one will ever question you again.
It comes with a pretty seal of approval and if you can tough it out 25 years, a Lion/Lamb Seiko with a dead battery can be yours as a bonus. I was going to throw it in Lake Ontario but sent it back . You can have that too by simply calling the Wildworld Church of God at their administrative offices in...in...wherever they went. Sadly and of course, you get no retirement as God hates retirement . It's in the Bible somewhere.
Act NOW!
This offer can be retracted at any time especially if Gerald Flurry wants to buy them for his Brotherly Love Museum
But Wait!!!!
There's More!!!
If you act NOW. I will throw in absolutely FREE a bone-e-fied Ordination Certificate from one Joseph W. Tkach should you ever stray from your probably sure words of prophecy and need a back up to certify your about face. This double portioned value is yours free for the taking. Apostate Former Deacon Joseph W. Tkach (AKA Alphonso Capone Tkach) backdated it to May 18th, 1975, don't ask me why, but if he can make ordination poo poo up about himself, I don't see why you can't. Don't worry of it! I've even heard of some getting anointed for a cold and coming out at the "amen" a Prophet!!!. It's a miracle!!! You get a bonus 20 years credit even if it's a typo and historical proof that HWA and JWT Co-Ruled in the Wildworld Church of God.
