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UPDATED: Top Ten Reasons You Can Get Disfellowshipped From The Living Church Of God

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From an LCG member:



TOP TEN REASONS YOU CAN GET DISFELLOWSHIPPED FROM THE
LIVING CHURCH OF GOD
(In the spirit of David Letterman)

10. Saying anything critical of the ministry
9. Facebook posts
8. Unconfirmed rumors
7. Not accepting the “Upgrades” (after all, that proves that your aren’t really converted)
6. Reading the Book of Enoch
5. Private Bible study or discussion (particularly on Friday nights)
4. Not quitting your job when HQ tells you to
3. Not tithing
2. Not attending (some have been recently dis-fellowshipped for “their disassociation with the Church”)
1. Execution of personal vendetta from Meredith or McNair

Here is another list from another reader:

10. Giving the same three boring sermons again and again… unless you are a Meredith.

9. Setting brethren against each other by telling lies about them… unless you are a Meredith.

8. Coveting widows’ inheritances… unless you are a Meredith.

7. Violating ministerial confidentiality… unless you are a Meredith.

6. Telling lies to the brethren… unless you are a Meredith.

5. Unsuccessfully repressing your gay lust for your boyhood wrestling buddy… unless you are a Meredith.

4. Coming to work under the influence of drugs and alcohol… unless your father is Rod Meredith.

3. Getting caught violating Charlotte building codes... unless your father is Rod Meredith.

2. Cheating on your wife by acting out sexually with an underage girl... unless your father is Rod Meredith.

1. Being too much like Jesus, and not enough like Rod, Little Jimmy, David, and the other Merediths.

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