From the Exit and Support site.
I always had this gut feeling, this unnerving inkling somewhere way in the back of my mind all throughout the entire time I had been a part of Living Church of God that something wasn't right. Of course I learned quickly to dismiss it as a thought from Satan, encouraged to pray harder and fast more and "draw closer to God" to resist the devil. That in itself doesn't prove anything, but I had studied gut feelings as a part of my University certificate (prior to LCG) and it is absolutely true that gut feelings are more than just vague paranoia or imagined fear."Your sub-conscious which operates ten times faster than your conscious mind has picked up on signals of danger that your conscious mind has not yet processed."1
"Controlling my information was something I experienced first hand being at Living University, and beforehand. One particularly memorable moment was when I found a book in the LU library titled The Armstrong Empire.(A Look at the Worldwide Church of God) by Joseph Hopkins.4 It was later removed upon realising what it was about when I brought it to two of the ministers to check out and read. I could have just taken it, but it was a simple experiment. Along with my being instructed not to read Exit Support Network™, Cult Awareness and Information Centre, or similar ones, because it was either "dissident material" or just plain "doctrines of demons" or "it will drag you away from the truth." This is not exclusive to the LCG, it is a common practise among Bible-based cult groups who insist they are the "one true church." However, when you are being subjected to it you don't realise that is what's happening. You are told to pray more, fast more, draw closer to God and made to feel incredibly guilty and like you're not measuring up.
It began to concern me when I was told to do just that. Don't read anything that contradicts or challenges the group theology. If you want to prove anything you have to refer to the group literature/authority because everyone else is "blinded." It is a ridiculous mentality to have but when you are indoctrinated in it you genuinely believe what you are told, and I did. But it didn't stop those gut feelings of "something is not right."
I began to become more and more concerned with the way I was being treated and the way in which my girlfriend [in LCG] was expected to act and react and interact. I was told to ignore her completely, told not to talk to her, to avoid sitting next to her. We both thought we were doing the right thing but it doesn't change how miserable I made her feel. It doesn't change that people in the future will still be subjected to such abuse quite frankly under the guise of a minister telling you "God" wills it and that He is testing you. I am sorry for the way I let people manipulate me into treating her that way. I was always told "wrong time," it's "not God's will." In reality the idea was that I needed to be indoctrinated properly, to dedicate my life to the group (through baptism) then be "a useful tool in God's hands" so that they would have assurance I would pledge total allegiance, lifelong loyalty and service to their group and place it before anything else. Although, of course, that's not what is said. You're told it's "the one true God" you're worshipping. My girlfriend became a threat to my potential "to be used", because if I came to Living University, fell in love with her, left and got married (even if we remained in the group) what an awful waste that would be of a perfectly good potential minister. We're always told there's a shortage of young men."